Afterthoughts: The Revengers (6.09)

“But I don’t wanna be safe, I wanna be with you.” Blair Waldorf to Chuck Bass. Cue all hearts melting from that perfect scene.

(Just wanted to make a quick note and add that I didn’t make a recap to last week’s episode because of complications with my laptop. In case you’re curious as to what happened click here. I didn’t find a solution until later and by that point I was just overly excited that I had a working laptop.)

I don’t know how to start this without sounding like I’m saying goodbye, and believe me I know we are one week short of this show ending. It’s just… well, we are at that point, no? We are almost at the end of this long race. Not many of us made it and some of us cut across the field, but overall here we are. Waiting to see how this race will end.

That essentially what this episode was, the race to the finish. Story lines being tied up, characters growing up and to an extend dying again. The episode did a great job of bring to essence what GG was… scheming, love, friendship, scandal…

And come on this was the best out of the currently nine aired episodes, lbr.

Any who, onward with these thoughts of mine on the episode itself:

A Dreamer (Blair’s final dream sequence)

Blair’s dreams always feel like some kind of warning that everyone should take seriously but don’t because Blair is usually just really over the top. And it’s more ‘Oh, B looks stunning’ as oppose to serious shit is about to go down. And it’s great that this was the final dream sequence, GG really couldn’t end without doing at least 2. Bravo!

But I thought it adorable how Bart called Blair: Mrs. Bass. Dream!Bart is better than actual Bart and that’s not saying much because Dream!Bart also wants to murder his dream son. Like sweetie, you are only allowed to fail one verse at a time. Seriously.

And a lovely homage to Charades!

Also the whole Bart and Blair part reminded me of something I saw on GG kinkmeme >_> awhile ago. This is how you know you’re reading too much smut. Nah, never enough.

Drowning in Your Own Damn Tears (Chuck Bass, Bart Bass, and Blair Waldorf edition including Ivy Dickens, Georgina Sparks, Sage Spence and Nate Archibald)

There’s a saying that goes: “What is dead should stay dead”, (there’s another saying that goes ‘What is dead may never die’… but some things need to stay dead) and truer words have never been spoken. Sadly, Gossip Girl is never one to let things die easy…

Last we left off with our hero, Chuck, he was still finding ways to bring Bart down. Still. I’m just really over Bart at this point. What was his point in bring back if he does nothing to this overall story? I mean, I loved Bart  during the s1 and s2…. we get to s5 and s6 and I’m thinking the man is alive because…

Well there’s no good reason.

But it’s not all bad news! Lily has decided not be as useless as she has been these last few episodes, while she may have only been there in spirit. I have my own personal vendetta against the woman who is almost neglectful of her own blood and her adoptive son. But she’s is doing the right thing now, at least to one of her children. Huzzah!

But my mind went blank after seeing Blair walk in because then I immediately thought: Did Blair spent the night at Chuck’s? Was there a missing scene!? WHAT AREN’T YOU SHOWING US!? Then I realize I might have to calm myself.

These two strategize like no other because as soon as Chuck mentions the word “charade” Blair like I know exactly what to do and who to turn to.

On a side note, look at Sage not sucking at being a girlfriend to her manorexia boyfriend, Nate. See she’s not awful just annoying!

But hello Serena, you are looking quite lovely and why are you packing? And why are you lying to your best friend?! What are you doing?!  Apparently, attempting to make a quick trip out of Manhattan and into a completely different lion’s den.

Unbeknownst, to the pair about her soon departure Chuck and Blair have an assignment for their favorite blonde. To get another another familiar blonde back into the city. None other than our favorite con artist: Ivy Dickens. Who’s under some delusion that Serena would like to apology for something that was clearly Ivy’s fault. Just gonna throw that out there.

Anyone else feeling like Nate needs a hug for just being in the same air space as Bart? Or for being referred to his grasshopper? At least we know where Nate’s heart truly lies, so there’s that.

But now back to the NJBC (sans Nate, who is having the worst month ever) is enlisting Ivy the Goat for help so she can move back and stay in Manhattan with her current lover William. Which gross. A piece of information that Serena knows nothing about.

However, the plan goes south as soon as Nate ends up in jail for being the worst double agent of all time. Seriously, would it have killed him to get his grandfather’s help to look over some papers? You don’t have that much pride, Nate.

Never fear Chate lovers! Chuck will be there to make sure that his best friend does not rot in jail, even if that means striking a deal with his father. In the mean time, Blair will be spending some quality time with Ivy while my favorite siblings go to face the worst father of all time. Who apparently makes an offer to Chuck really can’t refuse. But Chuck does so anyways…

Meanwhile back to Blairland, Blair is still worried over Chuck going to visit Bart, but is still annoyed with having to babysit Ivy. Which I don’t blame Blair because if I had someone prating on about a pact they had with their own lover, I’d be annoyed too. But oh no, Blair having a bit of technical issue with something and has to depart leaving a very bored Ivy.

In other pressing matter, Nate’s still in jail, booo. But here to help cheer up Nate (with the help of Sage) is the Captain! Who is looking quite well. Also I don’t mind Nage (?!) / Sate… Well, whatever their shipper name is. I like Sate a bit more, just putting that out there.

But oh noo, Blair’s town car is getting abducted her favorite father-in-law. Always something exciting happening with the Basses, I tell you. In hindsight, he really didn’t do anything to Blair just use her cell to lure Chuck into a trap and steal Blair’s town car… Rude. Causing Bart to get his wishes of exiling his only son to Moscow. But poor Blair has no idea.

And now parenting advise from Captain Howard Archibald to his only son: “So, you slipped. You’ve always stood by me, it’s my turn to stand by you.” Now why can’t Chuck and Bart have that moment ;___;

Now this next part ranks in number 3 in my favorite Chuck and Blair best moments (1) The hug in Oh Brother, Where Bart Thou? and 2) the train station scene in Double Identity), It was just so beautifully written and the camera shots. And the very subtle movements.  Then we have a very well played old Hollywood-esque feel to it. And of course me sobbing in uncontrollably in a corner. Well done GG, well done. Chuck leaving is the most heartbreaking.

However, Blair is not just going to back down because some old man is being terribly anal towards his son! No, she’s waited to long for this relationship (haven’t we all). So who’s she gonna call… Gh– I mean, her bitches. Her words not mine.

Her bitches include: Serena (her lovable, yet ditzy bestie), Georgina (Master of Manipulation), Ivy (The Goat), Sage (Young Rebel). This still sounds like a really bad 80s band, but they all play their parts well.

During the his dedication party, however, Bart ends up being really annoyed instead of guilty for all the shitty mistakes he’s done in the past. Like does this man have a soul!? The answer is no. I mean the guy was praising Scrooge for goodness sake.

But Blair being Blair, thinks everyone’s got a soul even Bart Bass. That all changes when news of a plane crash reaches her ears and Bart looks rather please with himself. I hate myself a bit for sobbing so much at this point because we all know Chuck is ok. Yet, Blair’s face looks so utterly broken.

So when Chuck basically ran up to that podium that basically had me cheering…  The fail was when Bart went up there and people cheered for him. Why are there so much injustices in the world?!

On a brighter note, Nate’s out of jail! How? I really couldn’t say… It’s kind of one those things that just happened. But Bart’s not done with Nate just yet… sounds really gross. So it’s more like a bittersweet note. Seriously, how did he get out if Bart is friends… Oh never mind. It’s not that pressing. Oh wait, it was Bart who got him out… I forgot about the first part of Chuck’s bargain.

So, Serena is officially done with this crowd, but Blair is not willing to part with her especially since they just made up a few weeks ago. This kind of reminds me of 1×13 ending scene except it doesn’t end with a simple hug and a promise to conquer the world together. Well they did hug but Serena was still leaving. And Chuck no where in sight.

This is not a good night for anyone really and it’s about to get really bad for the Basses. Also Bart attempting to kill Chuck take 2. Well I would think it’s two attempts…

And huzzah! Blair’s Bitches are actually pretty useful considering their plots didn’t work to crack Bart, but they are amusing especially Georgie.

I feel like Nate got lucky by the end of this episode, and no I don’t mean you go Sage… I mean,  he and his father are really in a good place, his girlfriend is only semi-crazy, and he has somewhere to live. Must be nice, Nate. Now if you can save your magazine everything will be just dandy… and it looks like Sage knows how. 😉

I’m not going to talk about the final scene mainly because I don’t know how to put in to words how I feel about it. I didn’t hate it, but it was bad… yet it wasn’t completely awful? You could tell there was something being attempted there. Like old Hollywood extra cheese-y ness, when the villain plunders into death. Like I said… I just. There are no words. Except Bart Bass had it coming. AND RUN CHUCK

The Fall and Rise of the “Leading Man” (Dan Humphrey edition mentioning:  Georgina, Bart, Serena, Blair, and Chuck) 

Now, according to the opening credits Penny B. is technically the leading man of the show. I’m just gonna put that out there in case someone gets upset that I mentioned this. We’re all savvy? Good.

Now the last we left off, Mr. Dan Humphrey was just about pissing off everyone who he came into contact with. Except for maybe his summer partner in crime, Ms. Georgina Sparks, who can’t seem to get enough of the hipster.

And everyone is whispering in the background: G, you can do better! While I go: Give me more Dan and Georgie, please? Ask and you shall receive.

And apparently BTS, Dan’s latest story was so amazing epic, that he’s famous again! And I would care, but I don’t… Mainly because he screwed over the love of his life in order to get ahead in his career. Talk about shallow.

But the man doesn’t have to live on the streets anymore and for some reason Georgie’s decided to help look for the dream apartment! Not that she’s helping that much… And I did love the Phillip and Milo mention.

Unfortunately, the said Hipster is unable to get his dream apartment due to the fact that he is rich and has no friends. Talk about a role reverse right there. But never fear Dan lovers, were there’s a will there’s a way! And there’s a Bart…

The funny thing about Dan going to Bart of all people is a bit confusing considering he was attempting to help Chuck a few episodes ago. Either that’s sloppy writing or they wanted to recreate 2×05. Season 2 did it first and better.

But never mind their odd bonding moment, Serena basically telling Dan to kindly fuck off was kind of priceless. I loved that she didn’t immediately swoon at Dan’s fail and tells him basically that. Like good job Dan.

I would, however, I like to extend an invitation to anyone to find the writer who suggested the use of the term “dark side” on Gossip Girl. It’s not cute, it’s just like a virus on the show. This isn’t Star Wars people! But it’s nice to know that Serena and Blair have both made time to watch it. Good on them.

And speaking of more fail, the Hipster King bonding time with the The Big Bad Bart isn’t over. Apparently, Bart likes Dan’s fanfic story so much, he even opted on reading the non-published Derena fanfic… RPF is all the rage, I hear.

Bart goes as far to say he like the meta version of Serena’s story more than the actual fanfiction. Which just goes to prove my friend and mine’s theory that Dan Humphrey should stick to writing meta’s and leave story telling to good writers. Also why on earth are you taking advice from a dead guy, Hipster King?

Then they somehow get into the topic of “respect” and how Serena will now see him in a newer and better light. Apparently, he’s forgotten that Serena basically wants him to diaf, but Bart does one better and informs Dan that she will be “respecting” him all the way from L.A. Needless to say, he was not amused. Dan, that is…

How’s that for cruel irony?

But the Hipster King is relentless! And will not lose someone he truly didn’t give a shit about a year ago…  But that’s all in the past and he can change! Because she’s the best sex he’s ever had and that’s the real reason things didn’t end well for Dan and Blair. Make of that what you will. 

Dan now knows that by Serena leaving he will be branded forever alone. So what’s he to do but confront her and demand to know if the poor girl– whom he’s humiliated–is leaving…

Best line: “Excuse me if I don’t wait around to be disappointed again.” And nor should she have to, Dan. Best pick up the piece and leave.

But what’s this! Dan not failing? WHAT!? And in that moment the entire fandom loved Dan Humphrey. Well Chair fans at any rate. Because not only did he go back on Bart, but he declared his love for Chuck… and yes, that is what I took from that. (Fellow Duck lovers unite… come we have cake and baked goods. And Sundays we read Duck fics, it’s all very lovely.)

This next part is a bit difficult to admit but the Dan and Blair scene was actually nicely handled. It wasn’t like “In your face, we didn’t get together, ha!” more along the line of “Things happened, and I don’t like you but I tolerate you… Also if you can please stop your only friend from leaving that would be awesome, thanks!”  And really the only part Blair agreed with is S leaving is not good. So there’s that. More on that in a bit!

You know you would think after all was said and done Dan would have left it alone. But this man obsesses over someone until he can’t obsess no more. Needless to say he had a bit of confrontation with GG’s own leading lady, who’s just about had it with Dan.

Out of all the things that happened in this episode (and really GG overall) this probably was my favorite scene for Serena. And it’s shows that Serena is a strong character who has made mistakes and knows when to bow out gracefully. Dan has just kind of realized that he lost her, but the man is not giving up… And just like 10.08.05 essay. He’s actually hoping that when words fail… Well you know the rest.

We will get our happy ending, whether you like the ending pairs or not. The time has come to say goodbye to Gossip Girl.

I’m happy to have been there most of the time.

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About Uninspired Fanfiction Writer

I work. I write on the blog. I write fanfiction. Hanging out with mis friends/Family. I'm so weird.

3 thoughts on “Afterthoughts: The Revengers (6.09)

  1. Je t'adore says:

    Amazing recap, Ms. I’m so glad you had time to write it and I’m sure everyone appreciates the effort you made considering your computer predicament. This was hilarious, I’m telling you, after GG is over, we need to rewtach it again (it will be the 3rd time we rewatch it all together, right?) and you should recap every ep.
    Anyway, you bring the feels, girlfriend. I loved the dream sequence too and how much it looked like Charade. And considering the fact that the movie has played a big part in this ep, the ending makes sense. Like you said, they tried to make it look like the old Hollywood movies (because if Chuck and Blair are not the perfect couple for that idk who is) and the cheesy/dramatic music was perf for that. It kida grew on me, even if we laughed about it on Monday. I too shade a tear when they made us believe Chuck died. Not because I believed them but because Blair was broekn and because I realized (yet again) how alone Chuck really has been all his life. No mother, a monster for a father and everyone thinking he’s shit. I think he deserves better than to have his own father practically throwing a party to celebrate his son’s death.
    Nate and Sage were actually nice this ep. You know I love Nate and it’s ok if you judge me, I judge you for your Duck love. Quid pro quo, Clarice. Anyway, I felt sorry for poor Nate, the guy has no luck. Bless Chuck for always having his back. Sage has never been my fav person but she really does seem to love Nate and if he’s happy, I’m happy.
    Dan, ugh. I just can’t with him anymore. I just can’t help but rolling my eyes when he acts like he doesn’t understand why Serena wants to be as far away from him as possible. Dude, you wrote horrible things about her, dated her best friend and lied to her. Is it that hard to understand why she isn’t willing to jump on the fail Dan ride again? And can we solve a mystery now pls? Dan was practically homeless one episode ago. How did he come up with the money to buy/rent that apartment? And how did he get famous? He was a failure as a writer not so long ago. Well, he still is in my book.
    Georgina is a queen, too bad she’s wasting her time with Dan. But as we know, her luck is about to change. *wink* So excited about that, my 3rd GG otp.
    I love Ivy, you know I do. Always have. And Lily, ugh, my hatered for her has deep roots so I’m not even going to comment on that. Can we have less of her and more of B’s family in the finale? Please and thank you.

  2. Moozanna says:

    I’m gonna miss GG and this site so much 😦

    They don’t show GG in my country, so i watch it online and get the DVD’s later.

    It nice to find a place where not only can i discuss GG but also my love for CHAIR 😀

    I said this once and i’m saying it again, i really hope you open a blog for The Carrie Diaries. I have a feeling it’ll be fun like GG 😀

    • Je t'adore says:

      Why would you miss it? We’re not closing the blog, we’ll still be posting Ed and Leighton stuff and we will not forget Gossip Girl. It has been an important part of our lives and will continue to be. I’m sorry you won’t be able to watch the finale live. 😦 And as far as TCD is concerned, we’ll see how it looks. I, for one, am not convinced. But I’ve been known to be wrong.

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